Smashville's Newest Song... Unfortunately

I was wondering what was going to pop up this week for me to write about.  Sometimes I think that nothing in the hockey world will grab me and drive me into a epileptic fit that results in many lines of words and punctuations.  Fortunately for me something has come to my attention thanks to Dirk Hoag and the fans in attendance in the Nashville Predators 0-5 drubbing of the New York Islanders.

Obliterating the Islanders is hardly something to brag about, I know, I'm a part-time Flyers fan, but its certainly something about which I can be excited.  What was less exciting was finding out through Twitter that the Preds were had replaced the an excellent video and Jay-Z song, probably the best intro combo I've seen the team have, with a brand new song that was written just for the Predators and the entire Smashville branding  (It was pointed out that the new intro song, while country, is not the song that I'm discussing).  This sounds like it could be really great, I mean it certainly worked for the Flyers with the anthemic The Orange and The Black by The Boils, but today I got to listen to track in its entirety.  Here's a sample :

Myxer: Privacy Policy | Terms - More from Lewis Copeland

I'll tell you want if you want to subject yourself to the entire song you can hit up Lewis Copeland's website and download the mp3 using any e-mail address that you feel like subjecting yourself to his panty melting sexy eyes, lyrical tragedy, and Keith Urban meets Miley Cyrus style vocals.

I'm no fan of Country music.  Granted I love stuff like the Old '97s, Lucero, Ninja Gun, and Two Cow Garage, but Pop-Country and stuff like that just isn't my thing.  I am a fan of the Predators goal song, a re-tooled Tim McGraw hit, because its different from other teams and its radio friendly, familiar melody are infectious in the arena.  What Copeland put together was a clumsy tribute to the Nashville Predators with uninspired lyrics and as much Pop-Country sound as he could fit into 2 minutes and 31 seconds.  Its got a fiddle solo and a guitar solo that boarders on rock and roll without actually being interesting.  Even the song structure and melody are typical Pop-Country.  The track even opens with a buzzer and ends with what sounds like a body crumpling after a check and a voice out of nowhere saying "Oh, I ain't dying."  The whole thing is boring and embarrassing and only goes to reinforce the hillbilly stereotype that the song projects.

Finally, I'm going to post the lyrics, as I transcribed them, below with a few small comments.


Music City
U-S-A (the "A" is stretched out for several beats)
Step on the ice, you're gonna pay
of course you are, all non-NFL pro-athletes have to pay a tax to play in Tennessee 
Touch the puck, you're outta luck
You won't be skating long (I'm pretty sure the word is long)
You're only going to skate what, 15 minutes during the game?
The Preds are here, the fans cheer
It would've been embarrassing if the team had gone to the other team's arena)
In this Hockey Tonk
I really hate that phrase, I would burn Hockey Tonk if it was a physical thing


Here in
SMASHVILLE
In the heart of the South
SMASHVILLE
The Preds are going to knock you down
Its what we said we do!
Passionate gang they're going do the thing
I keep listening to it, but I just keep hearing "the" and not "their".  Also... 'thing' and 'gang' /shudder
Feel the thrill down in
SMASHVILLE

FIDDLE SOLO, awesome....


You'll get checked
No outside food or drink allowed in the arena, catfish are fine
Lights out
You'll get wrecked
Not if Kevin Weekes is around
In this house
Only if child services finds out....
Sticks pop, gloves drop, give a rebel yell
I just don't even know....
Fans roar, Preds score
At a rate of 2.48 goals per game, so we don't roar that often, but still pretty frequently
Ring that Southern bell
I hear a loud air horn, Tim McGraw, and then Rock and Roll Part II, but I could be really wrong.


Guitar Solo, woo....


Then they sing the chorus a few more times and it sucks and is really depressing.  Yep, ok