Jonathan Toews Wants You To Be His Valentine

I dislike greeting card companies.  I think that they are an evil embodied only by the cardboard rectangles that we shuffle around the world like money, germs, or, more likely, money coated in germs.  To this extent I tend to take issue with holidays defined by greeting cards such as Mother's and Father's days and Valentine's day.  Also, Children's day, the hell's up with that?

Anyways, I wanted to acknowledge Valentine's Day in my own way and with the help of Chicago Blackhawk center and captain Jonathan Toews.  Frequenters of this blog will recognize the format, and I admit to being a tad obsessed with it at the moment.

WARNING : All but the last of these use language and ideas that would not be out of place in a prime time network sitcom.  The final one is the same, but only due to language.  This distinction is primarily based off of having watched How I Met Your Mother for the past however many years.

The two things I learned from this blogging exercise:

1. Things I create seem to always turn our far creepier than I intended
2. If I ever got into a staring contest with Toews, I would be obliterated.

For my OTF GDT crew